ADHD, Disability, Deficit, or Superpower? Finding Your Own Story in the Noise

If you’ve ever felt torn between seeing your ADHD as a struggle and seeing it as a strength, you’re definitely not alone. Most people with ADHD live somewhere in that uncomfortable middle ground — proud of the way their brain works one moment and frustrated or ashamed the next.

There’s a lot of noise out there about what ADHD should be.
- Some call it a “disability.”
- Some insist it’s a “superpower.”
- Others focus on the word “deficit,” as if you’re fundamentally lacking something everyone else seems to have.

But none of those words fully capture what it’s actually like to live in your brain, or to navigate a world that wasn’t built with you in mind.

This is a more honest conversation;  one that honours the real experience of ADHD without sugar-coating it or turning it into a slogan.

When the Word “Disability” Hits You Hard

For many adults, the idea of ADHD being a disability can feel heavy. The word itself can bring up shame, fear and a worry that other people will judge you or treat you differently.

You might think:

• “But I don’t want to be seen as weak.”
• “I’ve managed this long — does it really count as a disability?”
• “I don’t want to feel defined by it.”

But here’s the thing: calling ADHD a disability doesn’t mean you’re broken or incapable. It simply acknowledges the truth that you’re trying to function in a world designed for neurotypical brains.

If you struggle with:

• time management
• organisation
• switching tasks
• regulating your emotions
• working in chaotic or noisy environments
• sustaining attention on things that don’t spark interest

…it’s not a personal failure. It’s a mismatch between your wiring and the expectations placed on you.

And sometimes naming that mismatch as a disability actually brings relief.
- It gives you permission to stop blaming yourself.
- It opens the door to reasonable adjustments and support.
- It helps you recognise that you’re not fighting against your own character — you’re fighting an environment that wasn’t designed for you.

The Deficit Story: What Many of Us Learned First

If you grew up undiagnosed or misunderstood, you may have internalised a lifetime of messages that framed ADHD as a flaw:

• “Why can’t you just focus?”
• “You’re too much.”
• “You never finish anything.”
• “You’d be amazing if you just tried harder.”
• “You’re so disorganised.”

These comments leave a mark. They shape how you see yourself, even decades later.
Adults with ADHD often tell me that the hardest part is not the symptoms — it’s the shame they’ve carried for years.

ADHD is not a moral failing.
It’s not laziness or lack of discipline.
Your brain processes the world differently.

And difference isn’t the same as deficiency.

Understanding this can be deeply healing. It lets you reframe those old narratives:
“It wasn’t that I wasn’t trying. I just didn’t have the support I needed.”

But What About the “Superpower” Message?

You’ve probably seen the posts:
“ADHD is my superpower!”
“Hyperfocus makes me unstoppable!”
“ADHD brains are the most creative!”

There is truth in some of that.
ADHD brains can be incredibly intuitive, energetic, creative, and passionate.
Hyperfocus can produce incredible results.
People with ADHD often excel in crisis, innovation, or idea generation.

But the superpower narrative can also feel like pressure — especially on days when everything feels like wading through mud.

It can turn into:

• “If it’s a superpower, why am I exhausted?”
• “Why can’t I harness it consistently?”
• “Why do I still struggle with things other people find easy?”

Strengths exist. They’re real, and they’re worth celebrating.
But strengths don’t erase difficulty.
They don’t remove the need for support.
And they shouldn’t force you into pretending everything is positive when you’re overwhelmed, burnt out, or ashamed of falling behind.

A more balanced way of thinking might be:
You don’t have to be a superhero to have value.
You’re already valuable as you are — strengths, struggles, and everything in between.

What If ADHD Is All of These Things… And None of Them?

ADHD isn’t one-dimensional.
It’s not something that fits neatly into one description or identity.

For many people, ADHD is:

• disabling in certain environments
• a strength in the right context
• a challenge in daily life
• a source of creativity and insight
• a reason for burnout
• a spark they wouldn’t want to lose
• a pattern of thinking, feeling and responding that is as complex as it is human

You don’t have to pick a single story.
You don’t have to commit to calling ADHD a disability, a deficit or a superpower.

Your experience is allowed to be fluid.
Some days ADHD might feel like an anchor.
Other days it might feel like rocket fuel.
Most days it’s probably a bit of both.

Finding Your Own Balanced Narrative

Instead of trying to fit yourself into the language other people use, you get to build your own story.

A grounded, compassionate narrative might sound like:

• “Sometimes my ADHD disables me in a world that moves too fast and expects too much.”
• “Sometimes I thrive because of the way my brain works, not despite it.”
• “I don’t need to call it a superpower to appreciate my strengths.”
• “I don’t need to hide behind shame when things feel hard.”
• “It’s okay to be human.”

The most important thing is this:
Your ADHD is not something you need to justify, minimise, glamorise or apologise for.

It is part of you.
It influences your challenges, your strengths, your energy, your emotions, your relationships and the way you experience the world.

And when you understand it with honesty and kindness, rather than through shame or unrealistic positivity, something shifts.

You stop fighting yourself.
You start working with your brain instead of against it.
And life becomes a little lighter, a little clearer, and a lot more possible.